Because we have our heads so far up our asses that we can't see the windshield!

 
This is possibly the final entry for this blog. It won't be taken down, just moved. These entries will be archived here, unless I can think of a reason to move them to the new blog.

The new blog is at http://www.livejournal.com/users/yuthirin/

Wackiness continues there.
posted by Eric at 1:58 PM

 
Well, once again, my car is fucking shit.

In the last week, I have blown TWO alternator belts, one of whch was brand new, and my car is once again tearing another alternator belt apart. Brand-fucking-new belt, and it's coming apart. My car has become a goddamn monster.

posted by Eric at 1:52 PM

 
Today, I got sent home early from work. You must be curious why. Maybe you're not, and you don't really care. I'll tell you anyway.

A car battery broke in the Automotive department. Battery acid was everywhere. The janitor cleaned it up, and I went to help him change the mophead. Well, the mophead slipped off the mop, and I, like an idiot, went to catch it. I had gloves on, which was good. I caught it, which was good. Then I FORGOT I HAD GLOVES ONJ, and threw the mophead up into the air, fearing for the saftey of my hands.

Of course, when things go bad, they tend to get worse.

The mophead slapped me in the face, with all of its battery-acid goodness. Suddenly, I am knocked to the ground, the janitor is covering my head with baking soda, and my face feels like its on fire.

The good news: I suffered very, very minor acid burns.

The bad news: I feel like an idiot, and I have a massive headache.

posted by Eric at 2:37 PM

 
This just in: Sex is more fun than timezones.

posted by Eric at 8:43 AM

 
DAS FACIAL STABBITER.

Okay. So, today sucked, but that was pretty much a given. It's Christmas Eve, for Christ's sake. It was busy, horrid, cold, and the people were just plain awful, except for the ones that were nice.

Oh, fuck. I'm just too tired to say any more. I'll do this tomorrow.

posted by Eric at 10:41 PM

 
And now, I present to you...a fishman.

Greetings, mortals. How are you all tonight? Feeling well? Good. Are your souls ready for harvesting? Excellent.

Now that that's out of the way, I'll list off things that I have done recently, since I have nothing else that can be construed as even remotely interesting.

I'm playing 'A Bard's Tale,' and it's pretty damn funny. Go rent it for a laugh.

I've also played Vampire - The Masquerade: Bloodlines. It's awesome. Go get it, it's worth it.

That's about it. Oh, and I asked that girl out.

She said no.

posted by Eric at 10:12 PM

 
I am thankful for my job, even though I hate it.

I am thankful for my loving family, even when they annoy the living hell out of me.

I am thankful for beautiful women. In short skirts. In my bedroom. Especially when they're really there.

I am thankful for being alive, especially when the above is in occurance.

I am thankful for my genius, when it deigns to recognize the rest of reality.

Finally, I am thankful for my friends, who are my most treasured posessions. Without them, I'd lack the creativity that I so enjoy at times.

Thanks.

posted by Eric at 12:00 AM

 
I talked to her for over a half hour last night. I am feeliing...good. Energized, yet calmed.

I like that.

posted by Eric at 10:45 PM

 
Someone asked. Demanded. So I give. Be careful what you wish for.

Esther has impacted me far more that I had ever realized until this very afternoon. I was working, and a couple walked by me, holding hands. A thought flashed through my mind for an instant. I wonder how many times that whore has cheated on him. The sudden realization of what I had just thought hit me like a...well...something that hits things. Hard. I began to think...when Ruthie stayed here for ten days, I found myself being doubtful, mistrustful, and paranoid of her. Will she even come home tonight? Is she going to abandon me? Is she really at work? Does she even care?

Two years ago, I never, EVER would have even considered those things. I have lost my innate trust in women. It hasn't, however, merely ended with women. I can barely trust anyone now, and need to FORCE MYSELF to believe what people say. It's something I pride myself on, being able to trust at first glance, without a second thought. Now I trust nobody fully. I realize that now. My best friends, of which I have...two. I'm not sure if I can trust them anymore, and it is no fault of their own. The fault lies squarely upon my own shoulders. I think.

I cannot, CANNOT begin to understand how I'm going to fix this.

I'll admit it; I have feelings for Ruthie. She's sweet and kind and caring. She has given me no reason to doubt her sincerity. Yet I still do. It's a horrible, wretched feeling and I want nothing more than for it to just go away and leave me alone. My mind, however, insists that it's all an act, a farce, a lie. It enrages me that my heart wants to trust, and my mind wants to seethe in hatred and loathing for a person I'm only just starting to like. I am shocked and appalled at my own lack of reason and logic, something else I take pride in...most of the time. The sheer malice directed at innocent people is astounding. Never before have I experienced such total and mindless rage before.

I need to fix this, and soon. I may lash out at someone at a very inopportune time and it would be very bad. I'm snapping at my mother lately, and I've not even realized it until she tells me.

Bad mojo.

posted by Eric at 11:44 PM

 
I update!

I have news.

Today...I was slapped in the face with a large fish.

Seriously, I was hit, in the face, with a fish. I'm not sure what kind, but it was a good two and a half feet long. This lady was loading it onto the conveyer belt when she slipped and dropped it. I knelt down to catch it, but I went too low. She caught it by the tail and swung it upward, trying to get it back onto the belt. It hit me in the face and knocked me down, backwards. I landed on my back, while the lady stared at me in shock. Then everyone around me burst out laughing.

It would have been embarassing, had I not found it hilarious.

posted by Eric at 8:44 PM

 
Today's Entertainment!

We had a stupid shoplifter today.

This woman, had to be in her late thirties, walked out of the store after having her reciept checked. The checker happened to glance at her as she walked out and noticed that the pants she was wearing had a TAG on them. A COSTCO TAG. She was brought back inside, then carted off by the police. Her four-year-old son was placed under foster care for the duration of her stay in Cook County Jail. Which may be as much as five years.

Good job, lady.

posted by Eric at 11:46 PM

 
My Gamecube stopped working a few days ago. I decided to get a new one.

I had an idea.

I took it in to Gamestop to see if they'd buy it at a discount price. I handed it to them, and without a word between us, they plugged it in and turned it on.

It WORKED. I was amazed. I was amused. They offered me fifty dollars. I took the damn money, and used it to buy...ANOTHER GAMECUBE. From the same store. From the same guy. Three minutes later.

XD

posted by Eric at 9:38 AM

 
Three days ago, the unthinkable happened.

I was at work, outside with my friend and co-worker Dan. We were looking at the clouds, taking a break and hoping it would storm like crazy, because it sure as hell looked like it would. It was at that point that I felt a WHACK on the top of my head, right in the middle.

"Hell, yeah!" I said. "It's starting to rain!"

Dan looked up and said, "Um...there aren't any clouds in the sky, Eric."

I looked at him and said, "Then what the hell just hit me in the head?" I reached up, felt around, and pulled my hand down. It was BROWN! "BIRDSHIT!"

Dan nearly choked to death on his own laughter. Thanks, Dan. :P

posted by Eric at 9:07 AM

 
Esther...has gone PSYCHO!

Okay. That declaration to the side, let me explain the situation here.

This last weekend was an absolute joy for me. I've been interested in this girl, Lizzie, since the day I met her. I met her back when I was dating Esther, so there wasn't a whole lot I could do at the time. Note that this was back when I felt that our relationship held a lot of hope and promise, and I had no idea that she would cheat on me THREE FUCKING TIMES, YOU GODDAMN WHORE! I KNOW YOU READ MY BLOG! I HOPE YOU DIE SCREAMING AS CANCER CELLS SLOWLY CONSUME YOU FROM WITHIN WHILE YOURis this a bit too far over the top? I think so. I'll end that there. Anyway, Lizzy was in town this weekend, and we had an absolute fucking BLAST together.

Mini-golf, the Ginza Festival in West Chicago, Mitsuwa...all sorts of awesome stuff.

But this is not the BEST PART.

The BEST PART comes before all this happened, actually, around Tuesday or Wednesday. Esther called Kym, who is older sister to Lizzie(seeing a connection here, any of you who are paying attention?), and told her, 'under no uncertain terms,' that Esther and I are still dating, have always been together, WILL always be together, and that ERIC IS NOT ALLOWED TO DATE LIZZIE.

Thank you, Esther. My response to this knowledge was a prompt, swift phone call to her cell phone, and when presented with her voice mail, I left, roughly, this message: I am not dating you anymore. You are not dating me anymore. We are not dating anymore. We are not a couple, a pair, or anything else like that. I'm interested in someone else, so you go live your life, I'll go live mine, and we'll leave each other alone. Don't call me back, because I'm not going to talk to you anymore.

I hear tell that it ruined her day. GOOD. Go to hell, Esther, and stay the fuck away from me.

posted by Eric at 9:36 PM

 
WOOHOO! I'm bored. But hey, I'm close to having a new girlfriend. Yay! She's smart, honest, doesn't believe in cheating...and she likes me. Yay! The enter key isn't working on this keyboard! Oh noes! >_<

posted by Eric at 4:55 PM

 
I just poured water all over my keyboard. I impress myself.

In other news, certain people are bored, and they want me to blog, so here we go.

Dateline - TODAY - 4chan is back up, all you moochers, start mooching. For those of you who actually POSTED...I'm impressed.

Dateline - SUNDAY - I ate Subway and got food poisoning. I vomited honey mustard and chicken bits everywhere. Yay for me.

Okay, enough of that.

The wedding, it was good. I spent a good long while in the company of good friends and intensely sarcastic women, all the while sleeping on the floor of odin and Ricey's Motel 6 room. All in all, not bad. More later, maybe, when I'm not exhausted.

posted by Eric at 12:06 AM

 
Well, I just spent twenty-five minutes talking down to my ex and telling her to grow the hell up.

Chances of her listening are...slim. Which is a shame, because I really believe she could shape up if she tried.

IF she tried.

Le Sigh. Oh well. MUST GO DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE!

I cleaned my room today. On Sunday, I cut all my hair off. I walked into work on Monday and was greeted by a standing ovation. Stunning. Perhaps there's something to this short hair thing. Hmm.
posted by Eric at 12:05 AM

 
BLOGGAGE! WOO!

"Yuth!" I hear you cry. "Why have you not updated!?"

Because things happen. BUT I BLOG NOW!

HEAR YE, HEAR YE! YUTH IS SINGLE AGAIN!

Sometime last week, my friend Kim had a birthday party. Esther showed, and wanted to go out to a pool hall. I offered her a Guinness, she declined, saying that she couldn't drink or smoke because of the medication she was on.

To make a realy, really long and confusing story a very short and confusing story, she lied about it all so that she could go to a bar, drink, smoke, kiss some guy, and dry-hump two random men on the dance floor. I then found out that she was in the relationship for my money.

MY BLOODY MONEY. Jesus Christ. Why the HELL would she want money I don't even HAVE!?

Useless wench. So I left her. Pfft. Gone. I am done with her.

On a lighter note, I'm single. All you lovely ladies out there wanting some strong, silly, slightly-strange American man, COME GET SOME.
posted by Eric at 11:15 PM

 
I have a lizard! He's an emerald swift, and he's just about the coolest thing I've ever seen sleep upside-down. Yeah. Check him out hanging out poolside.
posted by Eric at 4:04 PM

 
Dammit.

A co-worker of mine, by the name of Jordan Cole, is a great guy. He's always got a joke, and always ready to snap at a customer if they're being a prick. He's a hard worker, and he always goes out of his way to be your friend.

The problem is, Jordan Cole shot himself in the temple on Saturday. He wrote a note, half a page long, stating how much he loved everyone. He set some towels out on the floor so his mother wouldn't have to clean up, laid down, and blew his brains out.

Jordan was a wonderful person. He was, as far as we could tell, a happy, determined person.

We don't know why he did it. Sure, he had his problems, as does everyone, but his problems were slowly healing themselves. We just don't know why he'd do it.

I remember, on Friday, I was teasing him because he hadn't shaved, and he looked like he was a goat. I was like, "Jordan! SHAVE!" and he said, "Whatever, Campbell." with a smile on his face.

I miss him.

It's not the same without you, Jordan. It never will be.
posted by Eric at 11:39 PM

 
Note to all: Shave not your nutsack with an electric razor, for it catches quite brutally. X_x
posted by Eric at 2:40 AM

 
This has got to be the STRANGEST thing I have ever experienced over the Net. I am typing over a television. An 80 lb, flat-screen, 60" high-definition television.

This is some sick shit.
posted by Eric at 7:19 PM

 
Hookay. Room is unpacked! Joy!

Things that have happened recently! We created a two-page list of all the things wrong with the house. These are NEW, not old. These problems include, but are not limited to the hardwood flooring needing to be refinished(this is all of the first floor), huge dents and gashed in the walls, the tile on the mantlepiece is badly sctarched, and so on.

Things with Esther are good. I bought a copy of the Munchkin card game, which is not only fun to play, but hysterical. It's by Steve Jackson Games for those of you who are interested. We played it until midnight last night. She doesn't live with me anymore, which I guess is good. I get laid less, but my mother is happy, and all Jewish boys need to be making their mothers happy...lest they begin to NAG.

My diamonds are still missing. This is not funny.

Oh well. There's the hometown update for you, people. Have a nice day!
posted by Eric at 10:00 AM

 
Yay! Moved back in! I'm back in my home! Yay! My room! SO! HAPPY! =D

On a sadder note, there will be no internet for me for the forseeable future. Yay. >_<

Probably not for a few weeks. Maybe sooner.

Which is okay, as I have eight million and two boxes to unpack.

My diamonds are missing, god dammit. This is pissing me off.
posted by Eric at 12:32 PM

 
Ironic: My Korean girlfriend playing a Japanese videogame.
posted by Eric at 5:02 PM

 
My hatred for my fellow man grows with each passing day, much to my dismay.

Lately, at work, I've been having trouble with members of the Tire Shop. We, the Cart Crew, share a bathroom with the Tire Center. Being the person that I am and trying to avoid conflict whenever possible, I always clean up the bathroom when I am done with it, often times leaving it more clean than when I entered.

Apparently, a member of the Cart Crew is leaving piss and shit in the toilet and dirt in the sink. They think that it's me because I am the most frequent user of the bathroom. Because of this, they have been harassing me. They bang on the walls, the door, and spray huge jets of air under the door with the air compresser, scaring me half to death.

So I went into the office and filed a formal charge of harassment against them. I didn't want to, but I refuse to sit there and take it.

Later on, I pushed a line of carts into the building, and some guy was putting his kid into a cart. This was fine, so I waited for him to move, because I wasn't in a great big hurry. Well, he spun his cart around, smashed into my line, and set his kid a'crying. In response, I let out a shocked, "I'm sorry!" Because it's my job to take responsibility.

His response was to call me a "fucking moron."

It was more like, "FUCKING MORON!"

The greeter at the door exploded. This little black woman went off on him, calling him a bastard and basically putting her job on the line for my honor tonight. I was touched beyond words.

But I hate being called a moron, because I strive so hard not to be stupid. Besides, If I WERE a moron, I'd have put my knife in his throat.

Fucking moron.
posted by Eric at 11:46 PM

 
I got bored today.

So, what else is there to do when you're bored?

I grabbed a ribbed Trojan condom and attaqched it to the kitchen sink faucet, then proceeded to fill it with water until it burst. It must have taken nearly three gallons before exploding everywhere.

The cool thing was, it looked almost EXACTLY like a giant maggot, except for the clearness of it. Scared my girlfriend with it! XD
posted by Eric at 3:10 PM

 
Hmmmkay. Gonna clarify something. My girlfriend and I, Esther, are still together.

I am aware that this fact may make some of you want to set me on fire, but, believe it or not, I'm happy.

She's gotten better. I'm proud of the many changes she's made. She's stopped smoking, drinking, and vanishing for extended periods of time.

Now all I've gotta get her to do is stop hanging around with my felonist ex-friend. X_X

But yes, we are together. Hope this clears that up.
posted by Eric at 7:41 PM

 
Yuth: Tell me how much you love me.
Esther: I love you this mu-*stretches arms wide, right arm smashing into the wall*ow.
Yuth: *dies laughing*

XD
XD
XD
posted by Eric at 12:31 PM

 
Got a call while at work last night. This is the kind of call you never expect to get.

Our friend Bobby is dead. He shot himself in the head sometime on Thursday. Reasons are unknown.

God dammit.

So, instead of going to bed last night, I stayed up until two trying to talk one of my friends into NOT chasing after Bobby, by way of drinking himself to death.

Last night was fucking gay.
posted by Eric at 2:38 PM

 
Oops. I puked on your baby. Wait, put down the nappy, I can explain.

I have the flu. I have the flu that everyone is talking about, the one that people scrambled for their flu shots for. The vomiting, the shakes, the headaches, the...well, you get the point. It sucks.

Me, I'm a dumbass. I decided that I needed to go to work today, because I need the money.

I worked for an hour and a half, pushing and straining, and almost-puking...then the pain came. I was pushing a line of carts when I accidentally shifted all of my push to my abs. It was such that I doubled over, nearly collapsing on the snowy, ice-cold blacktop. After recovering, I went inside. I was just passing the food court when it happened.

We have these huge red trash cans with easily-removable tops. I needed to throw up RIGHT NOW, so I knocked the top of a can off and puked my guts out. Now, before I get any further, let me explain my post-vomiting state. When I vomit, all the muscles in my body squeeze together, curling me up into a kneeling or foetal position, locking me in place for several seconds. Usually this is okay, because I'm usualy smart enough to stick near a bucket or a toilet.

NOT TODAY.

After the brief bout of ralphing, I went to go pick up the lid to replace it, only to find that it was not on the ground, nor was the garbage can, in fact, a garbage can.

IT WAS A BABY CARRIAGE!

A BIG, BRIGHT-RED BABY CARRIAGE!

WITH A BABY IN IT!

A baby boy, to be exact. The poor bastard has absolutely no clue what had just happened, and is staring up at me like I'm a new toy, only not as joyful.

Then his mother screamed. Then he screamed. Then my manager grabbed me and dragged me physically into the men's room. Where I finished puking in a urinal.

There is something fundamentally wrong with me, I just know it.
posted by Eric at 8:08 PM

 
Growing used to being hurt.

Not good. Need to do something about this, fast.

I need to be acknowledged. I don't care about kissing, I don't care about sex, all I want is a fucking PHONE CALL.

Is that too much to ask, or am I not seeing the whole picture, here?
posted by Eric at 8:51 PM

 
Girlfriend not making sense.

For months now, I've wanted her to find God again. Last night, she did so.

With God, came new and exciting changes.

No sex. I can deal.

No kissing. Okay, I can de-HUH!?

Yeah. No kissing. NO KISSING. THAT makes me feel loved. Yeah.

I feel like shit. Thanks a lot, Esther.

"I want your money and your time and your company, but no displays of affection beyond holding hands."

We're not in fucking high school, here. I don't think she completely understands how hurt I am, because she insists that I can wait until we get married to kiss.

I don't even WANT to marry her anymore. I'm still waiting for her to grow up and start assuming responsibilities for her actions! I'm still waiting for her to start thinking before acting. This is going nowhere, and one of us needs to cave in. Either she relents, or she's gone. I will not wait for this. I CANNOT wait for this. This is an INSULT. Whether she admits it or not, and I will NOT be made to jump through FLAMING HOOPS OF DEATH to prove how much I'm willing to sacrifice for her.

This will not go on. I love her, but if she refuses to acknowledge this, then it would be best if I moved on.
posted by Eric at 1:37 AM

 
Okay. Got my shit back, but I'm minus my wireless networking cable, so no connection for an indefinite amount of time. Mousies are dying. This is good.

Brother has been bugging IRC buddies; thanks for not banning him on the spot, guys.

Also, never thought I'd have to do this one, but here goes.

I have this blog here for a reason; so I can BITCH and MOAN about the INCONVENIENCES of my LIFE. If you do not like it, DO NOT FUCKING VISIT MY SITE.

I contacted HaloScan and had them delete THREE COMMENTS today. Kudos to HaloScan, by the way. Swift and thorough job.

Anyway, I don't need people coming here and complaining at me because I swear too much, or that Jesus will save me from myself, or that I bitch too much. That's why this blog is here.

Jesus. I never thought I'd actually have to POST something like this! GOD DAMN!

Edit: Got my connection back. No more bitching about that.
posted by Eric at 2:27 PM

 
Moved into the townhome yesterday.

Never before have I seen a shower covered COMPLETELY in mildew and slime.

And we have mice. Not just any mice, but RON JEREMY MICE. These are the BALSIEST mice I've ever encountered. I mean, these mice will stare at you and CHALLENGE you when you walk into the room. I mean, I was taking a shower this morning, and one of the goddamn things ran RIGHT ACROSS THE FUCKING SHOWER BAR. JESUS. The damn things were having a picnic on the counter with a Snickers bar when my stepfather got up. They completely ignored him as he made breakfast. Like HE shouldn't have been there. Jesus.

Orkin man comes tomorrow. Along with all my stuff.

Speaking of which, I still do not have my PS2. I am NOT PLEASED. >_<
posted by Eric at 10:42 AM

 
UPDATE: Tentative move-back-in date=March 1 of next year.

That's if only the currently estimated problems are found and fixed on time.

This does not include the three million other structural problems that we will most certainly find while the house is being rebuilt.

God dammit.
posted by Eric at 3:54 PM

 
Okay, punk. You want some? Come get some!

*punches Blogger in the nose and makes it fall down*

Okay, now that that's over with, let's get on with it, shall we?

Firstly, a great big CONFUCKINGRATULATIONS to Cy and IY-chan on their engagement. May they go forth and be fruitful.

If I am not invited to that wedding, there will be much party crashing, and the priest/minister/whatever will be PIED HEAVILY during the ceremony.

Of course, the then-unhappy couple would no doubt chase me about the chapel with KNIVES, but 'twould be good fun.

ONWARD!

Life goes on. We(my family and I) live in a hotel, now. It's not so bad. Every day after work, I can spend time in the hot tub and relax.

The only real problem I have is that the toilet paper they use here is like fucking construction paper.

God damn, I miss my computer. MY POOR BABY!! SKULD HAS ASH IN HER FAN INTAKE!! :____:
posted by Eric at 12:04 PM

 
FIRE!!

On Monday, at 9:10 pm CST, the chimney in my house caught fire. We think that it was the result of faulty wiring in a plug in front of the chimney, which, we think, melted and set the drywall on fire, which then set the roof on fire.

My mother called 911, got everyone out of the house, and waited for the fire department. Three minutes later, the fire department had arrived and began putting out the fire. Five minutes later, the fire department from the next town over arrived to HELP put out the fire.

The result?

We lost one framed artwork signed by both Norman Rockwell, then later signed and modified by Jim Davis, the wall right above the fireplace, and the roof. And the chimney, of course.

Our leather couches are ruined, as is the carpet and the paint. The hardwood floors will need to be torn out and replaced.

So we're out. We need a place to stay for the next three or four months while State Farm fixes our house.

At least they're footing the bill.
posted by Eric at 10:40 AM

 
On a lighter note, new blog: http://www.xanga.com/Yuthirin
posted by Eric at 11:28 PM

 
James. He must suffer. He has played both sides in two relationship problems.

LET ME EXPLAIN!

In the case of Yuth vs. Friend who slept with Ex-girlfriend:

Yuth was pissed, and spoke of beating the crap out of Friend to James, but had no intention of actually doing so.

James goes to Friend, tells him of such, and Friend says that he will take any beatings given, because he is guilty and feels intense remorse for his actions.

James turns around and tells Yuth that Friend is willing to take Yuth on, any time, any place.

Yuth is a sensible and rational person.

Yuth text messages Friend and sets up coffee date.

Yuth and Friend meet and discuss.

Yuth and Friend discover that their emotions have been played with. Yuth and Friend become buddies again, with purpose to make James a miserable man.

End Act 1, Scene 1.

Begin Act 1, Scene 2.

Yuth is at DM's place.

Yuth is recovering from breakup as best he can, by being with friends who care about him.

James shows up, drunk and stoned, anfter being told not to come over to DM's place.

Esther walks in behind him, like nothing is wrong.

Kym, DM's fiance, becomes so enraged that she is pushed to tears.

DM, Friend, and I decide to call it a night to get Esther and James out of DM's house, so Kym can calm down. James stumbles out the door, Esther before him.

We part.

End Act 1.

Now, this crap is going on in other places, too. Apparently, James is telling DJ, a friend of both Esther and myself, that I have been ABUSING HER.

Me. Abuse.

Like hell.

If HE wants to fight, I will be more than happy to ruin his life by calling the police on him the next time he informs me that he is drunk, because he's only 20.

Maybe jail would straighten his sorry ass out.

SO PISSED.
posted by Eric at 11:28 PM

 
I offered her everything a woman could ask for. Anything anyone could ask for. Hell, more than I thought I'd ever offer.

She gave me the necklace back anyway.

So it's over.

I'm single again.

Hey, Esther! Remember that Crate & Barrel box that I told you not to touch?

*waves a fifty year old bottle of Scotch whiskey at Esther* NYAHAHAHAHA!!
posted by Eric at 11:36 PM

 
I did what I could for her.

I grew a moustache for her.

I lost weight for her.

I was proud of her.

I changed myself to be better for her.

And this is what I get?
posted by Eric at 9:12 PM

 
Hooookay.

I hate this part. Time to slice this guy out of my life.

I never want to see him again, and I'll be DAMNED if he ever manages to get near my family.

God dammit, why the fuck do people always have to take advantage of my trust?
posted by Eric at 10:41 AM

 
Things are not going well.

I don't want to be alone again. It hurts so much.

I hate my life.

*cries*
posted by Eric at 11:17 PM

 
I swear to God, I think that she's ashamed of me or something.

She never seems to want me to go places that our mutual friends go to.

We were supposed to go to a haunted house in Indiana today with our friends. Now, she's in Indiana and I'm here at home, and she doesn't seem to see anything wrong with that.

I haven't felt this hurt in a very long time. This hurts worse than the events of September 2nd.

This is deliberate snubbing, as far as I can tell.

I feel a breakup coming. I should have seen it coming.

I can never catch a break, can I?

Is it so much to ask to be happy?
posted by Eric at 6:14 PM

 
This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I have read in AGES.


posted by Eric at 4:51 PM

 
It's almost three in the FUCKING MORNING.

Do you know where your girlfriend is? BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHERE MINE IS.

She left at midnight, MIDNIGHT, to go drop my step-brother off at a party. Said she'd be back in a half hour.

TWO-FORTY NOW.

Sne's not answering her cell phone and she's not here.

I HAVE NO IDEA IF SHE IS ALIVE OR DEAD.

I really wish she would STOP FUCKING DOING THIS SHIT GOD DAMNIT.
posted by Eric at 2:42 AM

 
I have decided to take a fairly large amount of writing courses at college before I ever write another fic again.

After the demise of my completely embarassing SI two years ago, I couldn't bear to face my peers with another fic unless I had polished it properly.
posted by Eric at 7:14 PM

 
This is it. I'm twenty-one. I'm no longer constrained by any age limitations. The world is my oyster, and I have many years ahead of me to eat my fill.

BRING ON THE PRESENTS, BABY!
posted by Eric at 11:59 AM

 
This sucks.

I'm out of work on a back injury, it hurts to move, I'm heavily medicated, and tomorrow is my twenty-first birthday.

On this crap, I can't even fucking drink!

God dammit.
posted by Eric at 4:04 PM

 
Nothing to report.
posted by Eric at 10:52 PM

 
Okay. So I'm at work, and I'm not in such a great mood, because the rain ate my cell phone.

During a period where the rain had let up, I saw this girl. This asian girl. This tall asian girl with 32C(OR MORE) breasts.

I was fascinated. Very fascinated. I mean, come on. She's a skinny, tall asian. With big tits. An amazing anomoly.

So I followed her around the parking lot, pretending to be looking for carts. In her shirt. >.>;

She got to her car, loaded up her stuff, and noticed me looking. She smiles at me, winked...and popped a cigarrette in her mouth. As she lit up, I grimaced, turned away, and thought to myself, "What a waste of a great pair of hoohahs."

Maybe it's me, but if I see a girl smoking, she's automatically ugly to me. It's the same way with guys. My friend James smokes, but when he lights up, I feel so disgusted. What a disgusting habit that is.
posted by Eric at 10:24 PM

 
"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Christ said this, when God turned away from Him while He hung, nailed hand and foot to a cross.

I think I know a little bit of how He felt.

Esther wanted to talk to me last night at 3 am...I said okay, because I'm always willing to talk.

I wasn't expecting it this time.

She told me something that I've been fearing for months. Something that I hoped and prayed that I was wrong about.

For the first two months of our relationship, she was still seeing her ex-boyfriend.

Still going to see him.

Still sleeping with him.

She cheated on me. God help me, I don't know what to do.

I. Don't. Know. What. To. Do.

Someone help me. Please.
posted by Eric at 12:17 PM

 
I'm late!

It's 9:22 AM, and I'm dashing down the halls of my college to get to my first class. I knocked over three people, sent one stack of paper flying across a hallway, but I finally got to the hall that held my classroom. Not slowing down, I turned right into the classroom, fully expecting the door to be open until 9:30.

SMASH!!

I landed flat on my back, having run face first into the door at full throttle.

Ow.

I stood back up, bent my nose back into shape, and opened the door to see thirty people staring at me. I couldn't quite see very well, so, as I apologized, I sat down on the lap of some person wearing gray clothes, the color of the chairs. Apologizing again, I sat down in an empty desk.

After five minutes, people were still staring at me. As my vision cleared, I realized something.

I've never seen any of these people before.

"OH MY GOD! I'M IN THE WRONG CLASSROOM!" This I shouted.

I dashed out of there, sending the desk I was sitting in careening across the room.

God, I hope I never see any of those people ever again.

Turns out I only have one class today, and it's at 11:00. My early class only runs on Mondays and Wednesdays. ;_;
posted by Eric at 10:12 AM

 
It's desk-buildin' time! Time to see if my measurements were correct.

God, I can barely move. @_@
posted by Eric at 9:44 PM

 
New slogan for SUVs: "Ride with us and check your brain at the door."

Goddamnit, nobody knows how to drive anymore.

I mean, Chirst, people! Turn AS you back out! And it's not just you SUV owners, either! LEARN WHERE YOUR GODDAMN CAR IS!

SHIT!
posted by Eric at 11:44 PM

 
Blue Man Group!

So we went to Chicago! The city!

...ICK!

The sights! The smells! The distinct lack of personal garages! ><

Anyway, we got to Briar Street Theater. I've been there before, and it hasn't changed a bit, and that's a good thing.

Esther had a great time, which was why I took her to see the show! She got dragged up onto the stage by one of the blue men and ate Twinkies with them! I kid you not. They photographed it.

We had a most excellent time. ^_^

One of these days, I might just explain the whole damn thing...but that would be spoiling it for everyone else! :P
posted by Eric at 8:24 PM

 
Well, today was mostly a good day.

I got off probation at work today, which means that I am now firmly employed! YAAAAY!

And then I got out of work. YAAAAY!

I'm on my way home, and I stop at a stoplight. Well, apparently the girl in the silver car behind me wasn't happy with that, because she punched the roof of her car, stabbed her finger against the windshield at me, and(I guess) started shouting obscenities at me.

How nice of her.

I made kissy-faces at her and waved. I was highly amused.
posted by Eric at 7:16 PM

 
So I'm on my way home last night at 10, making my way down the highway, having passed the toolbooths and the Deerfield exit on 94 just moments ago, when all of a sudden...

BOOM!

THUD!

Suddenly, I was looking slightly more upward. So I pulled the hell over, not without some difficulty, and got out of my car. Lo and behold, I had blown the right-rear tire on my car. I mean this thing had EXPLODED. There were pieces of the damn tire all over the damn road.

So I say to myself, okay, no problem, I've got a spare, I'll just change the tire and be on my way.

Simple, right?

WRONGO.

I got the car jacked up, located my spare...but I couldn't find the lug wrench.

I looked for an hour, failed to find it, raged about that fact for a few minutes, then decided to start hoofing it back to the tollbooths. Just as I had started walking, I heard a honk. Some very nice people had pulled over and were going to help me with my car! Yay!

We spent another half hour looking for my tire iron, because they didn't have one. ;_;

After that, we found mine, and pried off the lug nuts from my wheel, replaced it with the spare, and I was off.

I got home around midnight. ;___;
posted by Eric at 12:27 PM

 
Well, it's finally over. My grandmother is dead. My mother is destroyed, and nobody is happy.

This blows.
posted by Eric at 12:21 PM

 
...I have nothing to say.

Which begs the question: Why blog at all, then?

The answer: I HAVE NO IDEA.

HELLO! ^____^
posted by Eric at 10:50 PM

 
Okay. I had a very odd experience today at work.

As some of you know, I push carts for a living. Yes, I make more than you, Ra-chan.

So I'm out there pushing carts, watching the yuppi-er, people, when this mother-daughter team rolls past me. Now, the mother was homely, but the daughter, roughly about five or six, was a cute kid. Something for the father to be proud of in the future while he follows her around with a chainsaw whenever she goes out on a date with anything even resembling a man.

This kid, she scared the daylights out of me. I look at everyone who passes me, nod or tip my hat at them if we make eye contact. The first thing this little girl did when she saw me was smile widely, lick her lips in a wanton manner, and, I kid you not, wiggle her hips in a very not-so-childish fashion.

I WAS VERY, VERY, VERY DISTURBED.

I am still not quite sure what happened back there.

Internet access for me is moved back again, as we suddenly lack the proper hardware to do this. Fucking Comcast cocksucking motherfuckers. -_-;;;
posted by Eric at 11:06 PM

 
Jesus Christ, has it really been so long since my last update? God damn...

Well...things are going well. I still have a job, I'm still alive...AND I STILL HAVE NO DECENT NET CONNECTION!

I hate it when people are lazy when they have something they should really be doing. Like getting me my internet back.

Fuckers.

Anyway, I managed to FAIL FAIL FAIL all my classes at college again...we think I may actually have some kind of learning disability. O_o;; So we're looking into that right now.

Work still blows, and I'm still stuck out in the sun and the rain...at least I've lost some weight. Fifteen pounds! Yay! ^__^

I have many interesting stories for you people for once I get connected again. Some funny, some ridiculous, all true, unfortunately. -_-;;

I should be alive again within a week or so. I hope.

So, off to work. Again. Sigh. I hate my job, but I love my paychecks. $500 every two weeks, baby. This is why I still am employed.

I'll post a bunch more once I get connected again. Lots to tell, including a con report on Soulriders! Wheeeeeeeeeee! ^__^
posted by Eric at 2:16 PM

 
So. I worked today.

Wai.

No, actually, it sucked major, general, and admiral cock.

First, they put me outside. Outside, you have only one job: CORRAL THE CARTS.

We have about 2000 carts. Each cart weighs roughly 15 pounds. Each cart gets moved around by me at least 5 times per hour. (EDIT: This is grossly miscalculated. We have 600 carts, but they weigh in at about 98 pounds a piece.)

This is where the suckage begins.

I got there at 1:30. I didn't get a break until 5. More suckage.

I skipped two 15 minute breaks. More and more suckage.

Before I go over the best part, I must note that we, outside, wear these orange and yellow shiny jackets. The only way not to see them is if you were blind, had your eyes poked out, and said eyes wrapped in duct tape at the bottom of the ocean.

Some moron backed into me with his Oldsmobile and nearly snapped my leg in twain. I pulled a muscle in my inner thigh attempting and succeeding to save myself a broken leg. This was at 6.

I worked until 10:30.

MY DAY SUCKED.

How was yours?


posted by Eric at 1:14 AM

 
I'm driving down 120 today, going east, towards the lake...okay, perhaps I'd better explain why.

I go to the local community college. Every Tuesday, I have class at a seperate campus, which is about 30 minutes to the south of my home. After that class, I race back north to the main campus, using IL120 as a light traffic road. It varies from 40-50 mp/h.

So I'm doing about 50, heading east toward Lake Michigan, and the main campus, when some CRAZY BITCH turns left 20 feet in front of me.

Now, I'm doing 50, and she's 20 feet away. Do the math. Collision? Luckily not. I did, however, fly down the wrong lane sideways for a good thirty seconds, sending hapless motorists flying in all directions.

She passed me safely as I was changing lanes, missing me by inches. Waving. WAVING!! And smiling. LIKE NOTHING HAD HAPPENED!!

WHAT THE FUCK!?
posted by Eric at 1:49 PM

 
So I'm sitting in the computer lab at college today when some girl next to me turns to me, aghast, and says she'd just found her best friend's picture on the Internet.

I say, "So? That's somewhat common."

She beckons me over, and much to my amusement, there is her best friend, Anna, taking a HUGE strap on dildo up her ass.

I fell over, laughing. It was too funny.

You want to know the best part? Anna's supposed to be this nice, quiet girl. Never does anything wrong.

IT'S ALWAYS THE QUIET ONES!!

Muahahahaha!
posted by Eric at 1:52 PM

 
I just noticed that there is a dirtbike trail right outside my subdivision. After five years of living here, I just noticed this. Wow. X_X

Good news! Yuth got a job! Once again, I have rejoined the mindless masses in the thrall of doing work so someone else doesn't have to!

Yay. I put groceries in carts for ten bucks an hour. NOT TOO SHABBY.
posted by Eric at 12:05 PM

 
Rob Zombie's "House of 1000 Corpses" is quite good. Rather funny, and quite gory.

If you have a weak stomach, this isn't your kind of movie, but if you like scary stuff where the heroes seem like they have no chance of escaping the TWISTED EVIL MANIACS WITH KNIVES, this movie is for YOU, BABY.
posted by Eric at 2:27 AM

 
Okay, what the fuck!?

I turn on Cartoon Network, as I do every night when I come home from D&D, and to my utter astoundment, there's Johnny Quest.

Normally, this is a good thing.

Only one problem.

He's not speaking any bloody English!!

So, now it's 2 am, and I'm listening to Race Bannon, in a uncharacteristicly high voice, talk to a deep-voiced Dr. Quest and a squeaky Haji about God knows what.

Not cool. I am outraged.

Although I have nothing against the Spanish, Mexicans, or their language, if they could please not do this to me when I want to watch cartoons, I'd thank them.

I mean, COME ON!! This is AMERICA! In AMERICA, we speak ENGLISH!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!
posted by Eric at 2:25 AM

 
JESUS H CHRIST!!

My internet connection was down for ALL OF SPRING BREAK!!

GOD DAMN

I missed you people. ;_;
posted by Eric at 5:58 PM

 
HAPPY FUCKING THURSDAY!

Shall we go over today's problems?

Firstly, I think that I've forgotten to go take ALL of my midterms. So I'm screwed. I think.

Secondly, Kim, my DM's betrothed, has an ex-boyfriend. His name is Ryan. He is a dick. An hour ago, he tried to break into Kim's apartment and do God-knows-what to her stuff. At current, we cannot locate her.

Speaking of betrothals, Olg is in need of some serious assistance, because his parents are trying to get him to marry some psycho ugly chick in Arizona.

FREAKY.
posted by Eric at 3:04 PM

 
PICTURES! I HAVE FUCKING PICTURES!!

RIGHT HERE!!

This is my girlfriend. Is she not cute?

WARNING!! Pictures are freaking HUGE. Maybe I'll edit them later.

BIG THANKS TO CALENDAR FOR HOSTING THE PICS!

^_______^
posted by Eric at 6:56 PM

 
You: "Dammit Yuth, where the hell have you been!?"

In answer to this, I ask a question. If your girlfriend slept over at YOUR house(ON THE COUCH) for four days straight, what would YOU be doing?

O_o
o_O
o_o
O_O
@_@
posted by Eric at 7:53 PM

 
Never, ever again will I schedule myself for two four-hour classes in one day.

I have freaking class from 9 am to 5 pm.

It's like having a goddamn job. X_x

posted by Eric at 9:45 AM

 
Jesus Christ.

This isn't good.

My father's managed to, once again, almost kill himself. He was withdrawing from the drugs when, suddenly, "inexplicably," his blood sugar crashed and he was rendered helpless; unable to eat, move, or drink.

So my grandparents took him to the hospital, naturally. They gave him two IV drips; one with food and one with morphine.

He's all happy now, but it's obvious that he's now very much on his way to his grave.

My grandfather called last night and shouted at me to never let my mother call him again.

In almost any other event, I could understand this.

But the problem is, she never called the crazy bastard.

So, dad's dying and grandpa's gone completely looney. That leaves my grandmother, cranky old grandmother, as the only voice of reason left in the house.

The shit is about to hit the fan, and it's not gonna be fun cleaning it up.

God help me, I have to go over there sometime this week.

EDIT: Also, I'm running on four hours of sleep because my girlfriend and I talked until 3 am. X_x
posted by Eric at 8:56 AM

 
In other news, the comment system just tanked.

EDIT: Working again. Why did I even bother adding this?
posted by Eric at 12:55 AM

 
YAY! IT'S OFFCIAL! YAY!

We're officially going out!

Yay for Yuth!

For those of you interested...pictures will be posted...soon.
posted by Eric at 12:52 AM

 
Dating! So happy.

Now it's time to get a job! X_x

In other news, there is no news.
posted by Eric at 2:58 PM

 
Testing to fix my FUCKING BLOG!
posted by Eric at 2:29 AM

 
So tired. So tired.

Happy Valentine's Day.

She called me!

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

So happy!

*basks in the euphoric laughy half-sleep state*

:D
posted by Eric at 2:04 AM

 
Fucking police.

Fucking small-town desperate asshole police.

I stopped at that fucking stop sign.

Bribery is not something you should be suggesting to the person you just pulled over.

You are not above the law because you wear a badge, you fuckhead.
posted by Eric at 1:59 AM

 
They finished around 5am. In celebration, they decided to turn the bass all the way up and wake up half of the cul de sac.

Including myself.

I went out and bought some Sunny D, just because.

I'm so tired.
posted by Eric at 9:31 AM

 
[Neko-Iddy] Okay, this is how pathetic the marine corps is. My platoon spent the day playing *COUNTER STRIKE* for a preperation *WARGAME*
[Figment] ...
[Iwata] O_o
* Cas-busy is now known as Cas-AFK
[Neko-Iddy] Yeah, these are the people I have to go to war with. People who think *COUNTER STRIKE* is a VIABLE training tool.
[Iwata] Doesn't it instill so much confident in you? ^_^;;
[Figment] post
[Neko-Iddy] Oh yeah, just let me run to the doc and he'll heal me with his magical first aid kit.
[AngryTurtle] ...
[Baby_Mongoose] i COULD be a good tactical tool
[Neko-Iddy] No, it couldn't.
* AngryTurtle updates his blog: "The US Armed Forces have lost more collective intelligence points."
* Iwata snickers
[Neko-Iddy] Last I checked, you don't run around MOUT jumping up and down to dodge bullets.

Now. WHAT THE FUCK!?

If this really is viable, my little brother will be some kind of god out on the battlefield.

Scary thought.
posted by Eric at 4:48 PM

 
I was just at Wendy's.

Did you know that they promote to management level without requiring fluency in English?

This lady did not even know what BURGER MEANT!!

WHAT THE FUCK!!?
posted by Eric at 4:37 PM

 
I'm still a little sick. But that's not the reason I'm ranting today!

Today, I'm ranting about how some people SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO HAVE FRIENDS!!

Yesterday, my little brother(yes, the freakish one) brought home every single friend he's ever made in his entire life, and a brand new stereo system for his car. He had it set in his mind that he could put it into his car all on his own. Twenty minutes after they all arrived, he set his friends to work on tearing apart his car, which they were very good at. Meanwhile, the remaining friends cooked and ate and set fire to the oven. Well, no. Thet was a different event, and it was more a family friend than one of his friends, but still, it happened. I'm the one who had to put the damn fire out, so it all evens out.

About two hours after he had arrived home, he got a call from one of his friends. Apparently, his brand new cell phone had been stolen the night before at the mall, and the thieves were coming to his favorite hangout, the cyber cafe, with the cell phone. So, using his near-infinite brilliance, he decided that he and all of his available friends would get together, steal my car, and go beat the living shit out of the thieves.

Meanwhile, the remaining friends slowly revealed that they were not as adept at putting a car back together as they were at taking it apart. They decided to stop once there was a sufficient number of wires hanging everywhere.

An hour and a half after he left again, my brother returned, unfortunately not in the company of the police. He began yelling at his friends because they screwed up his car. My reply was, "Well, what do you expect from a bunch of uneducated sixteen-year-olds?" Perhaps I had hit a soft spot, because he shut up after that. I left soon after, because I just couldn't take any more of that shit.

This morning, I went downstairs to get some breakfast, grabbed an apple, turned around, and saw, to my horror, that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAD BEEN CLEANED UP.
Shit was and still is everywhere.

It's his mess. He cleans it up.

Or else.
posted by Eric at 12:27 PM

 
I'm sick. I HATE being sick. Dammit, this sucks. I need to get better...NOW.

Oh, and my chair is shedding. O_o;;
posted by Eric at 5:36 PM

 
It's Monday. 2:40 AM.

I am still awake from Saturday morning.

I am surviving on Amp, a Mountain Dew product that interacts with the body in a way similar to that of pure oxygen and napalm.

Now, you may ask yourself, "Why the hell is this idiot still awake?" The answer, of course, is that I am insane. Not only am I insane, but so are my friends.

Here's the reason I've been missing for the entire weekend.

I went over to my DM's house for a bit of gaming. Some Ironclaw, maybe some M:TG. This did not happen. Instead, we screwed around and generally had a good time until, around 1 AM Sunday morning, one of our gamers suggested that we go to a strip club, because we were all too wired on this Amp stuff to sleep. I decided to go with them. Hell, if the DM's girlfriend was enthusiastic about going, it HAD to be entertaining.

This was, quite possibly, the best decision I have ever made in my life.

High-quality place. Nice girls. Good price.

Didn't hurt that one of the dancers was about three seconds from making out with my DM's girlfriend. That image will forever be etched upon my mind's eye.

Good times. Good times.

Of course, that only lasted until the place closed, which occured at 4 AM. After that, most of us dispersed, leaving only myself, my DM, and his girlfriend. We waited for dawn to show up, talking about life, death, and the shame of being a human being. They went to bed after the sun came up. Not so for I, who had errands to run. After returning home for some allergy medication, I proceded to return my best friend's day planner to him, then returned to my DM's house for a brief 1.5-or-so hours of sleep. After which, we all got up, my DM went to work, and my DM's girlfriend rounded up myself and the man who had suggested the day's earlier activities together, and we went off to kill time. We ate breakast around 4 PM, and watched the sun set. Then we went SHOPPING. You have any idea how FUN it is to shop whilst WIRED!?

More fun than you think.

We got back to my DM's house around 9, and attempted to do Ironclaw again, without success. Some of us played M:TG while others drank coffee while others rested/slept. We disbanded completely at around 1 AM. About an hour and a half ago.

You have now been brought up to speed. Life is slowly becoming more entertaining. Now all I need is a grilfriend, and I'm good to go.

I rate this weekend as twelve points out of ten. Two extra points for the tongue the dancer slipped my DM's girlfriend. Shame my DM failed to witness it. He was arguing with his roommate.

Damn shame. Damn shame.

EDIT: Update! DM's girlfriend actively participated in the kiss! Rating goes up to 15/10!!
posted by Eric at 2:43 AM

 
Well, today was quite special.

It was supposed to be a normal two-day stretch. I spend the night at my father's house, then come home, $50 richer. Well, I got this, and almost a lot more than I bargained for.

I nearly got my ticket punched twice this afternoon.

I'm on my way home, just getting onto I-94, when some complete moron in a semi comes barreling down out of an exit going upwards of 100 miles an hour. Damn nutcase nearly slammed right into me. I had to veer onto the shoulder and almost off the road just so he wouldn't hit me from behind, there was no way I could have matched his speed. He was too close. I'm talking about half a foot too close.

After watching this maniac until he wildly took an exit, after sweeping across four lanes of early rush hour traffic, I figured I was in the clear. Right? WRONG.

Some idiot in a blue van careened across the lanes of traffic and almost smashed sideways into the car next to me. If he had, I'd have had nowhere to go, and I'd probably be pavement pizza right now, along with the other poor bastard on my right. The moron in the blue van overcorrected right before he would have smashed into the car to my left, and spun his vehicle before slamming into the concrete divider and coming to a battered halt.

The rest of the trip went without incident. But that mattered little, as I was FLAMING MAD.

For those of you wondering, I didn't mention this today because I didn't WANT to. I was too pissed off and I REALLY didn't want to talk about it. Hell, I'm STILL pissed off. Goddamn idiots. Who the HELL gave these people liscenses to drive!?

GOD DAMNIT!!

And on top of this, something's wrong with my digestive system.

Oh, and I can't remember the name of Bruenor Battlehammer's daughter.

Grrr.
posted by Eric at 2:57 AM

 
Well, the shit has hit the fan.

Remember when I said that I knew something big was coming? Well, it's happened. My uncle on my father's side is in the hospital. Stupid git got into a barfight and some moron punched him in the trachea and gave him vocal nerve damage. He's in ICU. Stupid drunken psychotic idiot. They expect him to make a mostly-complete recovery. He'll probably talk like some idiot who had a tracheotomy for three months. Or he could talk like that for the rest of his life.

My grandmother on my mother's side just had a major vein attached to her heart collapse. She's in ICU. They cannot operate because she won't survive the surgery. She has a maximum of six months to live. As of right now, she is conscious and happy, because the doctors have not yet told her that they DIDN'T CONDUCT THE SURGERY.

My father's family is going to pieces. My mother's family is going to pieces. And, by God, I'm caught in the middle.

Calendar. It is inevitable that I will be in Ohio sometime soon. Most likely sooner than later.

God damnit. This is the worst way to start a new year yet.
posted by Eric at 4:30 AM

 
A couple of days ago, I purchased some anime. Samurai Girl: Real Bout High School, to be exact, by TokyoPop.

It's about six times better than it sounds, people. This is some GOOD SHIT. The animation is excellent(9/10), the story is...well, okay. The story gets a 6/10 for being somewhat cliche. The voice acting gets an 8/10. The DVD extras get a 9/10. This is the first DVD set I've ever see to have VA outtakes. Some of them are hilarious.

I give this anime 8/10 overall. This is pretty good. Give it a shot.
posted by Eric at 2:55 PM

 
Never before has a Friday been this dull. I'm bored out of my skull.

This scares me. Do you know why this scares me?

This means that something is going to happen soon. Something relatively big. With each passing day of boredom, the event grows in importance relative to the expanse of time used for dull, dreary boredom.

Something big is coming. I can feel it.
posted by Eric at 2:47 PM

 
Happy New Year, people.

I pray that none of you get hit by some yahoo on the road that's had too much to drink.
posted by Eric at 11:53 PM

 
Well, another Christmas come and gone.

Would you like to hear about my Christmas? Sure you would, otherwise, what the hell are you doing here?

Well, it started at about 12:00 AM, where I couldn't bring myself to sleep. I was reading an original fanfic called "Sailor Nothing" (http://www.pixelscapes.com/sailornothing/index.html). Damn good, and I couldn't just leave it alone until I had finished it. Which didn't happen until about 4 AM. Then, exhausted, I went to bed.

My alarm went off promptly at 7 AM, and I immediately realized that Christmas Eve Day was going to suck. I got up, did the morning thing, finished packing, and took my shit downstairs. Then we left, and I had completely forgotten my nice clothes for dinner. Oh well.

At first, I had thought that I would be able to get some sleep in the car ride. Logical, right? Sleep on the way there, and Christmas is good for all.

WRONGO.

Five minutes into the car ride, my step-father decided to re-introduce us and everyone else within a five-mile radius to The Music Of Today, by which I mean loud, annoying, and did I mention loud? First up was an amazingly horrible techno redux of "It's Raining Men" followed by something I couldn't identify, only it came from the Bass family. Now, the bass family lives on the philosophy that roughly states that all music must be low, deep, loud, and have optional sides of identifiable rhythm and/or actual music. More techno after this. Then some Lynard Skynard, which I would have had no problem with, except that it was about eighty skillion decibles too high.

After several screamed sarcastic comments(the 300M has a very powerful stereo system), the stereo was turned down so that we could attempt to stop bleeding from the ears. I failed miserable to sleep, and sorrowfully looked out the window, watching the boring Illinois landscape.

The actual trip lasted only about four hours, because everyone on the planet had mysteriously decided to up and vanish. It was creepy. We saw a total of MAYBE two-hundred cars from Indiana to Ohio. It was like the world had died. I was very dissapointed to see that this was not true when we arrived in Michigan, as the traffic returned out of nowhere to piss us all off, just thirty miles from our destination.

After we got the the hotel, did we stay to relax? Yup, for about an hour, which I was determined to sleep through. However, determination will not deter my little brother, who immediately turned on the television.

Now, let me tell you something about television. Television is a light-projecting, sound-blasting, brain-scouring beast that has taken a hold of my brother's brain and made itself his god. Most people wouldn't have a problem with the television. I do. The white noise the electronics inside produce prevent me from sleeping. If you were to turn on a television in the same room I'm in while I sleep, I'd wake right the fuck up. And you better not be there, because I'll be fucking pissed.

After he stated that he could watch the TV whenever he wanted, and who cared about me anyway, I got up, reached behind the dresser, and pulled the plug on the TV. Then I hit him with a pillow repeatedly when he demanded that I plug in the TV, and go get him a snack.

He left, I slept for ten minutes, then my mother came in, crying, and tore into me about Christmas and not fighting. I think. I went back to sleep when she left. All was good.

Upon awakening, we went to the store to purchase Christmas gifts for the extended family. This was interesting, because apparently an altercation had taken place while I was asleep and the truth had come out about the fight. My brother was pouting like a four-year-old and not speaking to my mother. Too bad for him. I was nice to her, and I got a candy bar. Nyaa. On the way out, I told a girl that she was devastatingly attractive(she was) and to please have a merry Christmas. She smiled and blushed, which means that there's STILL HOPE!

After that, we went to my grandmother's house, stayed until 11, talked, goofed around, and generally had a good time.

After that, sleep. YAY!

Christmas Day! Christ's birthday! The day of love, compassion, and understanding!

Yaright. You wanna tell my little brother that one? He wanted to fight as soon as I woke up. Little bastard turned on the bloody fucking TV. So, in the spirit of the season, and as the mature one in the room, I left for a walk, in which I was given a t-shirt by the hotel staff(NICE LADY!!). I ate the continental breakfast, with bagels and cream cheese. Yum. I went back to the room, realized that my good clothes were still in my room at home, cursed, told my parents, and wore the nicest thing I had with me. Jeans and a dark blue pullover, which I like a lot.

Then we went to a Chinese buffet. On Christmas. No, I'm not kidding.

Then it was back to grandmother's house we went. Honey turkey for dinner! Yay! I managed to converse civilly for the entire evening with my step-brother! Double Yay! Presents! YAHOOOOIE!

I got everything I wanted, which consisted of: The entire Vandread series, the entire Rurouni Kenshin series, $20 in Best Buy gift cards, $20 in Blockbuster gift cards, the first Gold Diggers compilation comic book, the Ninja High School "Textbook" compilation comic book, a bucket of microwave popcorn, and a $50 check from my grandmother. Not too shabby when all you asked for was the comic books.

Anyway, family time ended, and back to the hotel we went. More sleep. Yay. More waking up. Boo. More Chinese. Yay. Saying goodbye to family. ...eh.

On the road again. "Music" again. Screaming again. Turning off music. Yay. Beating Metroid Fusion. YAY! Getting home. BIGGER YAY!

Sleeping in my own bed again. Priceless.

I rate this Christmas with an 8/10. Minus two points for the "music" and my brother being a dicksmoking asshole.

And now I have to go to my father's house. For more gifts. And I get to watch them all bicker and fight. Joy. Oversized four-year-olds. The lot of them.
posted by Eric at 10:41 AM

 
Well, here I am. It's the day before Christmas Eve, and I'm gearing down to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll wake up at seven, hurriedly clean myself, complete my packing, and throw my bag into the trunk. Then we, a family of four, will all pile into the 300M and drive for seven hours to Michigan. In a car that was NOT designed for seven-hour drives.

And I think I'm starting to get a cold.

God help me, I just might go mad this Christmas.

...Oh shit. I forgot to buy gifts for my extended family! SHIT! Oh well. There's always next year. I hope.

Merry Christmas.

God help you if you have any living relatives.
posted by Eric at 9:59 PM

 
I will never understand women. Ever.
posted by Eric at 4:56 PM

 
Okay people. How hard is it to train your fucking kids not to run screaming like howler monkeys with fresh acid burns down the hall of a hotel at three in the god damn morning!?

The Holiday Inn is NOT your personal fucking jungle gym! My door is not there for your children to bang and kick on while you fumble with your luggage, trying to get your room key, which you stupidly stuck in your back pocket. Hey, moron! Put down the fucking Tonka truck and open your fucking door!

Is this too hard for you people? If it is, we can always castrate you and your children, because I sure as HELL don't want them reproducing with YOUR GENES, ASSHOLE!

By the way, dickface, your wife should be carrying something more than that tiny purse. She's a woman, not a FUCKING CHINA DOLL.
posted by Eric at 11:32 PM

 
I was shopping in the mall the other day, buying some pants. I came across the American Eagle store. They claimed that their pants were on sale. I said, "Woohoo! Pants!" and went inside. Inside, I was looking around for a pair of pants that were my size, when I came across a pair with grass stains and a hole in ine knee. Curious, I brought them up to the cashier and asked him why they were selling damaged goods. He told me that they were new 'street jeans' and they were half off, at $48.

FORTY-EIGHT BUCKS. FOR A PAIR OF FACTORY-DAMAGED GOODS. And that was the sale price. What the hell is the matter with this country? If calculated properly...the price for a pair if 'street jeans', without the sale, is $96. For a pair of freaking pants, people. Pants. I could eat for a month on $96. No, instead, I'll buy pants, because style and brand name are more important than everything else. Christ.
posted by Eric at 12:02 PM

 
Cable companies should die.

Our cable company interrupted Gun Smith Cats for a message about digital cable...even though it was on channel 530, and we already HAVE THE FUCKING SERVICE.

As of right now, they are fucking up the regular cable, and the rather attractive newswoman sounds like Barry White. And her lip/voice sync is way off. I'm talking like three seconds off.

And this is only channel two. Most of the real cable channels are the TVGuide Channel(you know the nifty little thing that lists what channel is which and what's on...it scrolls. you get it) Only this is about seventy channels of the same fucking thing.

The fuck, people? This is crap.
posted by Eric at 3:50 AM

 
Wild Arms 3 r0x0rz your s0x0rz.

This is all well and good, but when you forget to turn in your Networking homework because of it, things get hairy. O_o

Hopefully, the teacher will not dock me the assignment. >_<
posted by Eric at 4:13 AM

 
Today, I went to K-Mart to turn in some film for developing. As I filled out the information on the little film bag, I came to the printing options. After much searching, I determined that there were no options that allowed me to merely attain one set of prints.

I asked the counter lady, who replied, in a vacantly cheery manner, "I'm sorry, sir. We don't offer single prints without a bonus anymore." The cheapest bonus is four dollars extra. Four dollars! Jesus Christ! I think you can buy another roll of film for that much! When the hell did we stop offering single prints without any bonuses!?

Christ!

I bought the goddamn four-dollars-extra set of double prints.

From now on, I'll develop it in my basement.

Fuck you, Kodak.
posted by Eric at 1:51 AM